We are in charge of our lives. We are in control of our happiness.

Sometimes we think we don’t have control of our happiness, that other people are in control.
This is not true.

Sometimes we think other people had all the advantages that is why they are happy.
This is not true.

Sometimes we think when we have money and love we will be happy.
This is not true.

Happiness comes when we decide to be happy.
It doesn’t just happen.

I am a pretty happy person.

You might think I grew up in a wonderful loving family and have had happy marriages that is why I am happy.

This is not true.

I come from a broken home. My childhood is filled with crazy stories. My mother is a narcissist who told me, when I was looking for direction for my future, that I was good at ironing. I have had two failed marriages. My father and I were estranged for years due to my mother’s brainwashing.  I have been very poor not sure how to pay the bills and I have been successful with plenty of money.

Throughout all of this I still considered myself mostly happy.

Because it isn’t a job, or a relationship or money that made me happy.

It was a decision about how I want to go through my life.

I want to enjoy life. There are situations that are not enjoyable. There are times I am frustrated. I have found that how I react to these situations will make me happy or unhappy.

I try to choose the happy reaction. Why make the situation more miserable?

I am not a saint. I have found that when I go for the underhanded nasty reaction, I am not happier. I end up being very unhappy with myself and how I reacted. I am embarrassed to have treated others in a nasty way. For that reason, I strive to be kind and to think of the other person as a human instead of the villain of a bad situation.

When I went through my second divorce I learned a lot about myself. I went to counseling. I blamed my first divorce on my first husband. And I used to blame a lot of my stuff on my Mother.

When we began, my counselor told me I would get to a point where I didn’t hate my mother, instead I would have empathy for her. I would realize how wounded she was to treat me the way she did. It took a while but I understand now and I do feel empathy for her and her unhealed wounds.

We all have choices in our lives. We can decide to stay unconscious and never look at ourselves. Stay as victims of our past.

I chose to take responsibility for my life, including my happiness.

I worked in film production for years. Near the end I was a working on a commercial.  When I arrived on set a fellow crew member said “You are the happiest person I know.  I saw you driving to work this morning and you were smiling away.”

This how I want people to remember me and my life.