I initiated my first divorce.
I remember when he moved out.
I remember coming home to an empty house.
I was alone, all by myself. I felt lost.
I had moment of panic. This was my new reality. I had friends and a good career and lots of hobbies. That didn’t help my alone feeling.
I wanted to find a friend or movie or anything else to do besides be there alone.
Instead I stayed home by myself and worked through the panic feeling. I had to take a moment. I realized I was going to be fine by myself. I needed to learn to enjoy being alone.
When my second divorce was finally finished I jumped on a plane to Mexico, by myself. I was going somewhere I had never been. There was a sense of adventure and a feeling of being strong doing it by myself.
The next day I woke up in a panic. Here I was in a foreign country by myself. Poor lonely me.
I took a moment to think about the good part of being there, a moment of gratitude. That calmed me down. I planned a few things to do on my stay. And ended up having a great time. Meeting wonderful people that helped make my trip interesting. I saw the things on my list. And I spent time alone.
Being alone
- I find it to be fun
- I meet a lot of people because I am open to it and ready to connect when I go out
- I can do what I want whenever I want to, even last minute.
- I think it has made me a better traveling partner too. When traveling with others I take care of myself making sure I do and see the things I want.
Spending time by myself let me get to know what I want and need to be happy. Now I know what I am looking for in a partner. I know what I need in my life. And I can communicate it to others.