Kindness is one of those things we forget at times, especially when we are overwhelmed, stressed and sad. When all you can see is your pain, being kind is hard to muster. Sometimes you just want to make others feel the pain too. You really don’t want to hurt others, you are just in pain.

It is much more gratifying to be kind to yourself and others around you

Think about how it feels when you look around and you see a friendly smile. How you feel when the person in front of you holds the door or elevator. These are small acts of kindness.

You get to choose how you react to people. You get to decide how you treat people

There was a time when you are your spouse were kind and loving. It was at the beginning of the relationship. Now you are at the end. Now you are both upset and possibly angry. Kindness should still be a priority. This is someone you have loved in past.

Now is the time to decide how you want this relationship to proceed. You don’t have to have constant contact or family dinners. This means when you do interact, you do it from your heart. Just take a moment to stop and think before you react. Think about what you are about to say and how it will be received. You know each other’s triggers. Is drama, upset, anger, turmoil, what you want in your life? In your children’s life

How to start being kind?

  • Think back how you felt at the beginning of the relationship
  • Don’t assume the worst, give them the benefit of the doubt
  • Treat them as you would want to be treated
  • Be fair: Most breakups are 50/50
  • Don’t communicate through the kids

How you react during this time shows your character. Who do you want to be? Being kind helps you heal.
Holding anger gets you nowhere.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
Martin Luther King