When I was going through my second divorce I was a mess.
My second marriage was ending. What was I doing wrong? Why wasn’t I able to make my marriages work?
I was given the book “The Year of Living Consciously” by Gay Hendricks
This book is laid out to read daily. Each month focuses on different subjects. Each day builds on the last and delves deeper into the idea of being conscious. I was enjoying the process and learning a bunch.
One month was very significant to me. It was a month of taking responsibility for the relationships you create.
Wait, what? I create my relationships? This took some thought, but it opened my eyes.
When my first marriage ended my thought was that he was just a dick. I didn’t take any responsibility for the relationship-the good, the bad, the ending.
My second marriage was ending and I didn’t want to repeat my relationship pattern anymore. I had to figure it out. I had to take responsibility for creating that relationship. Really, I needed to take responsibility for all my relationships.
I started by finding the pattern in both of my marriages. If you put both men together, their personalities, their looks, their careers, their energy was completely different. What was the pattern? Luckily, I had the whole month to work on it daily and figure it out. And I did.
This changed my life. Now I take responsibility for the relationships I create.
Now I look inside myself and try to figure out my stuff about an upsetting situation.
- Why is it upsetting?
- What is it triggering in me?
- Why is it triggering me?
- Why am I in this relationship?
- What do I need to learn about myself in this moment?
Responsibility doesn’t end with just relationships, it includes every decision and every choice in everything we do.
It is easy to blame other factors for our issues. But that won’t change anything. If we don’t take responsibility for our lives we have no power.
Who has the power then?
I no longer wanted to give away my power. So, I began to decide how I wanted my life to look, how I wanted my relationships to look, how I wanted my career to look. And then I made changes to make my career, relationships and life be the way I wanted them to be
This took time, it took practice and it took support.
To change how I looked at things I needed to analyze how things were going, what I didn’t like and how I wanted them to be.
This is my practice:
I do daily thought work to align my thoughts to the things I want in my life.
We all have bad days. Instead of thinking I am failing, I take those days to figure more about myself. I comfort myself, I journal, I talk to my mentors. I work daily to be conscious to not get triggered. If I do, I figure out why.
We have control of our life. Taking responsibility is so empowering. Because if life isn’t how we want it, we are not suck. We have the power to change it.
If we don’t take responsibility, there will be no change. The things that upset us will continue to control our lives. Is that what you want? Do you want to continue to give away your power?
Are you ready to take responsibility? Are you ready for a change?
I am here to help you find your power. Sign up for a free consultation call. Let’s get you on the right path to make your life the one of your dreams.