There are so many lessons you will have during this breakup process. The goal is to make it through the process, learn the lessons and come out shining. I think selfcare is the first step.

What do we get with selfcare? You left your relationship because needs were not getting met. This is your chance to define and live with all your needs being met. Think about what that would look like. Let’s start with taking care of you.

Deciding who you are now and what you want now, can be hard. It is sometimes easier to work within a framework. Our lives begin under our parent’s roof with their rules. You have just lived in a relationship with compromises that you accepted and made work. Now you are able to do what you want. Live the way you want to live.

How do you want to live? Knowing who you are and what you want is the only way to take control of your life.

You don’t have to have the answers right away. You probably haven’t really thought deeply about it. Now is your chance. Think about it, write about it, try new things.

Let’s start. What can you do for you right now?

One of the first things I did for me was to change the colors on the walls. I liked the colors we selected but they there was compromise. Now I didn’t have to compromise. I could paint them any color I wanted. So I changed the wall colors within the first few months, because I could.

Change is happening even if you didn’t choose it.
Choose something you have control to change

I know how tight money can be during a divorce or separation. Don’t let this stop you. This doesn’t have to cost anything. You can rearrange the furniture, start walking every morning or evening, join a new group through meetup, plan a garden, or volunteer for your favorite cause. These are just a few ideas.

Write three ideas of things you can and want to change.

Pick one
Now Just do it!