A file of fabulousness is the perfect thing for those days you don’t feel it.
My Mother is a narcissist. It has been hard for me to think I am great. I don’t want to be anything like a narcissist. I had work to get past this thought. We all need to love ourselves. I finally learned this. I finally realized I am not a narcissist like my Mother.
How did I learn to love myself?
For years I took everything I did for granted. I just assumed everyone could do it too. Over the years I have realized that is not the case. I have a lot of unique skills and qualities. I am at the point in my life where I am celebrating them instead of thinking they are weird. I am starting to honor those skills and love myself for them.
I have talked about taking compliments. How for a long time I just blew them off. When I consciously decided to listen, take the compliment in and say thank you, things started to change.
Seems easy but it took time before taking compliments became easy for me. It became easier when I stopped and listened and took in what people were saying. I started to believe. I started to reject the monkey brain thoughts. You know the thoughts that tell you they are just being nice, they want something from you, what they are saying isn’t true. I rejected those thoughts and said a simple thank you.
When I listened, I heard many things about how people saw me. How I interacted and responded and how they responded to me.
We all have bad days where we feel inadequate. On those days it is nice to have compliments to remind us that this will pass and the world sees us in a positive light.
One of my coaches mentioned keeping all of the positive comments, compliments and articles in a file.
That file is the file of fabulousness.
I have one and you should too. When I am feeling low I open that file and remind myself that life will change. That I am fabulous most of the time even if I don’t feel it right then.
Remember that life is 50/50. We all have down days. The file of fabulousness is just a tool to help you move on from the low points and feel better in the moment.
Loving yourself and feeling fabulous isn’t a sign of narcissism.
I have found that most narcissists are insecure and don’t really feel fabulous. They are compensating for their lack of self-esteem.
So, start that file. Take those compliments and love yourself.
If you need help along the way I am here. Just send me an email.