Having your back means taking care of yourself. To be kind to yourself. No calling yourself names, or beating yourself up.
Having your back is about your relationship with yourself.
Currently, I am on a housesit in SF. I have been having a great time. I’m taking public transportation, exploring on foot, walking the dog and working.
But the exposure to new germs got me. I was fighting a cold for about a week but then it took over. I felt crappy.
I am not a good sick person. As a child we were sent to our room when we got sick. The lesson was that I was bad to be sick. We were isolated without much comfort. This was my sickness training.
I have worked to be compassionate to others when they are sick. Luckily, I don’t get sick much. When I do, I repeat the training from my childhood. I isolate and get upset at myself for being sick. No comfort, just punishment.
I started to feel a little sore throat, so I drank more water and took Advil. That didn’t cure it. I keep denying that I was sick. I kept working and exploring. I kept ignoring my body.
My body didn’t like that.
This past weekend I felt horrible. Runny nose, sneezing and fever. I had to stop. I took Saturday to rest. I watched TV, read, napped and took the dog for walks a few times.
I was frustrated by the end of the day. I didn’t explore and I didn’t accomplish anything.
I woke up Sunday and still felt crappy, but I wasn’t wasting another day. I cleaned the house, went to the Orchid show, slowly walked home. I decided that Ramen with lots of garlic would help make me feel better. It was great and I believed that it would heal me.
I was convinced that by Monday morning I would feel better. That wasn’t the case. I was still feeling horrible on Monday.
But Monday was different. I had a different attitude. I surrendered to the sickness. I ate healthy foods, I drank water and was kind to myself. I didn’t care what I did. Reading was my focus and I was enjoying the book.
I wasn’t beating myself up. I wasn’t upset that I wasn’t doing anything. I just rested.
I woke up Tuesday and felt 100% better. It felt miraculous.
As long as I fought the cold, beat myself up and ignored my body I stayed sick.
When I had my back, my body reacted. It healed and took care of itself.
Having my back has changed my life in many ways. Not only did I recover quicker. I felt better along the way. I comforted myself, the way I would comfort a friend.
This is a great place to start. Treat yourself like you would a friend. That is all having your back means.
When we stop being mean to ourselves our life can turn around instantly.
Yesterday I was back to exploring. I had the energy to change when the original plan didn’t work out. And I found things I never would have found.
There are always new things to learn about having my back. It is a practice. It only gets better.
I am here to help with all aspects of your life. Selfcare is a life-long practice.
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