What does that mean?
Dictionary definition of mindful
1. Conscious or aware of something “we can be more mindful of the energy we use to heat our homes”.
2. Focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, especially as part of a therapeutic or meditative practice. “turn into your body and be more mindful”
My definition of mindful divorce:
Getting through your breakup aware of your part, being conscious of your words and actions,
living in the present moment and not reacting to triggers from your past.The mindful divorce goal is to get through it with the least damage to you, your spouse and your children’s relationships
I have been married twice. When my first marriage ended, I wasn’t happy and it was easy to blame him. I was the victim. He was the bad guy. For that reason, I didn’t really learn much from that experience.
It was going to be different with my next husband. I did what I could, I picked someone I thought was opposite of my first husband.
I was the picker and I was picking my partners unconsciously
In life we tend to recreate what we are used to, even if it is bad, because that is what we know. Hence people living with abuse continue to recreate that in their lives. If you are not taking responsibility for your decisions, the patterns keep getting repeated. My first husband and second husband seemed opposite of each other. I was the one that picked them and I had the same criteria each time.
There are so many lessons to be learned from your breakup
When my second marriage ended counseling helped me understand my marriages, helped me work on healing my past and gave me more information about myself. I was able to identify many things about my personality and my choices. When I took responsibility for my decisions, for my relationships and for my life, I began healing.
Start to be mindful
Begin by Observing
Find patterns in your life
Look at your friendships and relationships
Observe the patterns of your relationships
Write down the patterns and
your feelings about them
I wish I had learned this lesson from my first divorce. My second marriage-the second lesson-was much more painful. This is why I promote a Mindful Divorce. Taking responsibility for your life now will make the rest of it so much better. This can affect all of your future decisions, in your relationships and in all other aspects of your life.