When you feel horrible and in crisis, it is hard to do anything. Everything feels like a struggle. Work, exercise, meals. It is hard to even fathom that taking care of yourself can help. But is can. Self Care is the most important thing to do. Treating yourself like you want to be treated will go a long way. Eating regularly, exercising and doing something fun are all a part of your life.
Shutting down will not help.
You were used to taking care of someone else. Now that person is you. Treat yourself how you want to be treated.
This is the time to get used to being treated nicely.
One of the hardest things for me at first was being alone in the evenings. He wasn’t coming home anymore, now what do I do to fill my evening time? Now I was alone. I remember feeling panic. I would spiral down the rabbit hole of negativity, insecurity and any other-ity I could come up with. I just wanted to run away.
Sitting with my feelings calmed them down. I would breathe then think about things I liked to do by myself. I had many options-reading, movies, household projects, craft projects, taking a walk or even visiting with friends.
Take this time to find and embrace your new reality. Really learn to enjoy the time by yourself. Find your new evenings. You are now able to decide how you want to spend your time. And when you do something you enjoy the time flies by.
What do you enjoy doing?
I like a variety of things. Stuff I do by myself and stuff I do with other people. I tried a bunch of new things and reintroduced things I loved from my past.
I found the me-without him.
You can too! Sit down, take three deep breaths, think about three things you could do right now. Now pick the one you want to do. Then Enjoy!