Going through a breakup can be very sad and you can feel alone, like nobody loves you. We tend to feel like we need to be part of a couple to feel love. I am here to say that that is not true. I am single and I feel more love now than I ever have in the past, even when I was in a relationship
I decided to see, hear, feel and embrace all the love in my life
When I was going through my second divorce I was a mess. I had wonderful friends in my life but I didn’t embrace the love they had for me. I felt so worthless and unlovable. My friends found that hard to believe. They loved me.
I couldn’t see it. What did they love about ME?
One friend heard what I said and made me a visual representation of her love, a word poster.
She wrote things she sees in me. It was powerful. She sent it ready to be hung, so I put it in a place I would see often. Reading the words and believing them helped me start to feel better. I took in what she was saying and worked hard to ignored my inner critic.
Counteracting all those years of the uncontrolled inner critic take time. When self-doubt creeps back in. I need to remind myself of what is really true. These techniques help me.
1. Listen to what others say and take it in, don’t dismiss it.
For the longest I time, when people would compliment me, I would dismiss what they were saying. I felt they were just saying that to be nice. I wasn’t hearing what they said about me. I find most people don’t just give compliment to be nice. They truly believe what they are saying to you. Just say thank you. And take a moment to hear them.
2. Love yourself
This is the part that was hard for me because my Mother is a narcissist. I do not want to be like her. I needed to learn that loving myself and narcissism are two different things. I am a caring type. I think about others and I am a good listener. Being a caregiver takes balance. I was putting other’s needs above my own and that wasn’t working. I was feeling used and resentful instead of energized. I finally realized I need to take care of my needs before I can care for others in a loving manner.
3. Honor your strengths and skills
It took me awhile to realize that my skills were different than others. There are a lot of things that I took for granted. I now realize everyone has different skills. Honor your skills they are unique to you.