Our stories define our lives.
For a long time, I held onto the stories from my childhood where I was the victim. As the victim I was giving my power away. That wasn’t what I thought when I held on to the stories. In fact, I thought the opposite. I thought of them as reasons for the way I reacted to things. The way I was treated was wrong and I had escaped when I moved away after college.
After I moved away, I had minimal time with my family so I was always tense when I went home for the holidays. I was holding onto the old stories. To me things hadn’t changed. I only had to deal with it when I visited.
That was a way to survive. But it wasn’t an enlightened way for me to live.
I realized some of my stories needed to change. They were so ingrained it was hard to see a different point of view by myself. I went to counseling and started to see things differently. As I worked to heal my past, I started to see things in a new light.
Counseling got me to a good place. But the work I have done since becoming a coach has made a huge difference in my life.
When I listen to my clients’ stories, I realize how many different ways events can be interpreted. We tend to hold onto the one version we have and think it is the truth.
Our thoughts create our reality. Stories come from our thoughts. Therefore, the stories we have are creating our reality. Are you creating the life you want?
I have worked on some of my stories from my past but there is more work to do.
My big goal for next year is to rewrite my stories.
Here is my plan and the steps I will take:
- Daily write out one my stories about my family, my exes, my friends, my work and my life.
- Then I will look at the stories and figure out why I have held onto them.
How is this story serving me? This will give me information that will be uncomfortable at times. I am sure I will find the victim mentality in some. The victim is such a weak position. I want to be powerful.
- I will feel the feelings that come up.
I will look at the feelings my story brings up and uncover the real feeling it is hiding. Usually my anger is just masking my hurt feelings. When I feel the hurt, I can let it go. It can take some time for this to happen. I have held onto these stories for a long time.
- The final step will be to rewrite the story.
I will rewrite the story from a more powerful position. One of responsibility and empathy.
Throughout the whole process I will comfort myself. I will be kind and loving. I will not beat myself up for holding onto the story. I will hold onto the thought that I am doing this work and changing my future.
I am excited to see the old stories change to new more powerful stories. I am not changing my history I am just seeing it from a new perspective.
We all get to choose how we see the stories in our lives.
I want to remember the good not just the bad from my past. Our brains always are on alert to protect us. They are looking for danger. It tends to look for the negative. I am rewriting my stories to change my brain’s focus.
I will evaluate the new stories like the I did the old stories.
- Why am I telling the story?
- How is it serving me?
- How can I change the story to serve me and my life?
It will be a busy year of writing and discovery. I challenge you to do it too.
If you need help seeing your stories in a new light. I’m your girl.
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